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written by: Helen Dowd Biography
"Dad, What Does 'Honor' Mean?"
Exodus 20:12 - "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." This is the first commandment. Paul emphasized it again in Ephesians 6:2 - "Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise."
"That's it! I've had it!" Eileen pushed back her chair from the table, got up and went to the kitchen for the broom and dustpan. Her father had just broken another dish. It had happened every day this week and Eileen was fed up with it. "We've just got to do something about Dad," she said to Bill, her husband, after the meal was over.
"Well, I'm fed up with it, too," said Bill. "I can't bear to watch him eat, the food dribbling down his chin, his spluttering noises. Meal time is supposed to be something to be enjoyed, not dreaded. What do you suggest we do?"
Together Bill and Eileen concocted a plan. Bill went out to the garage and brought in the sturdy hobby table and set it up at the far end of the dining room. Eileen pulled down a wooden salad bowl from the cupboard, and brought in a plastic tumbler from the picnic dishes. When it was mealtime, Eileen led her father to the little table, placed his food in the wooden dish, filled his tumbler half full with water, put his bib over his head, and pushed him, none too gently into his chair. Then she served up the meal at the dining room table for herself, Bill and Tommy.
During the meal Tommy kept looking over at his grampa. "Eat your dinner, Tommy," Bill said sternly to his son. So Tommy ate his meal in silence, stealing secret glances over at his grampa every now and then. When the meal was over, and grampa was sitting in his easy chair, Tommy crept into the room. He used to sit on grampa's lap, but grampa was now too frail to hold a sturdy seven-year-old; so Tommy snuggled into the chair beside him. He lay his head on his grampa's lap. A tear trickled from the old man's eyes as he stoked his grandson's head. He used to read to Tommy, but now Tommy often read to him. But not tonight. Tommy felt that grampa was too sad to listen to a story. Tommy just wanted to comfort him.
For the next several days when the family had their meal, Grampa sat alone at his little table, eating in solitude. Tommy kept sneaking quick glances at his beloved Grampa as the meals went on. It bothered him to see the tears which inevitably rolled down Grampa's cheeks, mingling with his meal. How Tommy wished that he could go and sit beside Grampa for his meal. It seemed that ever since Grampa had been banished from the family table Tommy's mom and dad had been angry and unfriendly. They hardly ever said a word to each other, or to him, during the meal.
That Sunday, after Sunday school, Tommy went into his little workshop and began to work on the project he had begun several days ago. After he had been working for about a half hour his dad came in to join him. "Whatcha working on, Son?" he asked. Tommy didn't reply right away; and then, instead of answering his dad's question, he asked him a question, "Dad, what does 'honor' mean?" His dad looked puzzled.
"Honor? It means, 'respect', to 'put first', to revere, like we do to God. But why do you ask, Tommy?"
"It was our verse in Sunday school." Tommy struggled with the piece of wood he was trying to carve with the carving set he had gotten for his birthday.
"Here, do you need help?" his father asked. "What is it your are carving?
"I'm working on something for you and Mama for when you get old so I can 'honor' you. I want to make a real nice wooden bowl for you both so that I can look after you real good like you look after Grampa." Tommy continued to struggle with the wood. He had no rancor in his voice, nor in his intention. He was just doing something which he thought was right. He knew his Mama and Dad could do nothing wrong. They were just doing what they thought was right to "honor" their father. It didn't seem right to Tommy, but what did he know? He was only seven.
Bill left Tommy working on his project. Without a further word he went to Eileen, and with tears in his eyes, he told her of the conversation he had just had with their son. No further discussion between them was necessary. They removed the little table from the dining room, threw out the wooden bowl and plastic cup. At the next meal Eileen led her father to the table, and not only set him up with proper dishes and utensils, she set him at the head of the table. No bib was placed on him, and when the family was seated, Bill said, "Dad, would you please say the Grace?"
Grandpa reached out and grabbed Tommy's hand, and with trembling voice gave thanks to God for His goodness, for His provision, for his daughter and son-in-law, and particularly for his little friend and grandson, Tommy.
The family from then on did not notice Grampa's drooling and spluttering, nor did they mind the occasional broken dish. And Tommy learned the true meaning of "Honor thy father and thy mother."
"And a little child shall lead them."(Isaiah 11:6d)
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